the house is quiet.
he is running errands.
she is away, visiting her grandparents.
I am alone in the quiet.
it has been a long time since I had this respite.
and yet I miss them both.
it seems that deep longing for quiet, such a constant companion of my heart, crashes headlong into the desire to be near those closest to my heart. I long for God and time alone with Him. I long for my little family and the chaos of our lives.
how do they interact, these two desires? where is the balance? can the tension be resolved or is it life-long? maybe it is a healthy tension, not to be answered this side of heaven…
there he was. just as advertised.
the human doing.
that is how he introduced himself to us as we stood around his plexi-glass apartment in the middle of the mall.
he is there as part of a health insurance company’s stunt, a life lived in front of others, encouraging us all to move, to be engaged with life. to be healthier. the crowd votes throughout the day on the activities and exercises he does.
the concept is interesting. but i could not get beyond the moniker. a human doing.
i spent the majority of life as a human doing. doing for God. running hither and yon, working hard at ministry. the idea of a human being seemed a dream. Martha was chided by Jesus and Mary applauded. one was a doing. the other a being. how my heart wanted to be a being, to give up the doing. to rest at Jesus’ feet. to soak in His presence.
to be a being instead of a doing meant learning to abide in Him, to set aside the doing. to be quiet. to train myself, and let Him train me, to externally and internally rest. to learn to listen for His still, small voice.
learning to abide has been a long, often painful process. it has been an amazing journey. and i have much more to learn, so much more to hear from Him
Jesus calls us to abide in Him.
Easy and difficult.
Simple and complex.
Full of peace. Full of turmoil.
Much like the beautiful way He boiled the Law into two simple commands, to love God and love people, the Christian life is pared down to one amazing statement. Abide in Me.
The journey into that life of abiding is what this blog is all about. It is not a perfect journey. Sometimes it is full of wonder. Often full of questions.
A focus on Him.
A desire to honor and glorify Him.
More of Him, less of me.
A jump into the ins and outs of one woman’s sanctification journey, with some of the oohs and aahs and bumps and bruises along the way.
Learning to abide. Learning to love. Wanting desperately to be like Christ. Knowing how far short of that goal I am. Resting in His grace in the gap.