today is Mother’s Day in the United States.
for many years, this was solely a day to concentrate on and celebrate Mom. it’s pretty easy to do that with and for my own! and we’ve got one of those relationships that does not require a date on the calendar or a Hallmark card to say, “I love you!”
but there were years of desert in Mother’s Day. years we lived far from family. years we desperately wanted to be parents, but were not. years of arms, empty and aching to hold a little one, bereft of the experience. for many years, Mother’s Day was simply a painful date on the calendar, to be avoided, to concentrate on the children we are to our mothers and forget the parents we were not. how does one really avoid a day like this, when happy family celebrations abound, where parents and children, of all ages and life stages, gather.
as each day, month, and year passed by, we moved further from the “norm” for those in our age bracket and life stage. we talked about the “what if” of never having a child. would days like this remain painful all our lives? would we have to wait for heaven to hear “mommy!” or “daddy!”? yet, in His own grace, God did gift us with a child. a daughter-gift so filled with joy and personality and heart that I daily wonder at His grace.
today is my fourth year as the mother of an earth-bound child, celebrating Mother’s Day together. along with my own mother, grandmother, and auntie. it was a rich day, full of family, young giggles, and a peace. does my heart still hurt? yes. has this child erased the pain of the years preceding her birth? no. and for that I am thankful.
(part two tomorrow…)