Category Archives: complex

days on the calendar…

It was one of those days. A date on the calendar. For most, just a date. For me, an anniversary. A painful one.

Dreams shattered.

Life swirling around despite it.

Holding to Jesus. Desperately clinging to Him.

A heart and body wounded, never to be the same.

New questions. A paradigm shift.

A fresh sensitivity inward. Someday to turn outward and hold others in a similar place.

We all have them. Quiet anniversaries. Sacred. Shared with few. Life hurts that remain quietly remembered.

Walking wounded all. Feeling so very alone.

And yet not. Others have tread these familiar paths, so new to us, so unreal.

Death of a loved one. Job loss. Diagnosis. Car accident. Miscarriage. Relationship destroyed. Betrayal. Devastating confession. And so many more.

It is good for me to remember dates like these. They remind me that we all carry heart hurts. And most often we do not know the significant dates on someone else’s calendar. They may need some extra grace, a smile, a kind word. Things that cost me so little time, such small effort. BeingĀ  Jesus’ hands and feet. Bringing some Barnabas encouragement.

More than just a date on the calendar…

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Filed under abiding, aches and lessons, being, complex, daughter-gift, life lesson, simple, spiritual formation

introverted…

if you’ve wandered through my blog roll at all, you’ve seen the introverted church listed. I haven’t had a chance to read Introverts in the Church yet, but have been looking forward to it!

I’ve found a piece of my heart in most entries published. and I have the honor of guest posting this week (I’ll keep you posted on that!)

I am an introverted, contemplative, Scandinavian girl.

people can be a lot of work for me.

I would be a great hermit. but I would miss my little family. then again, they are cut from similar cloth, so maybe we’d be hermits together.

Jesus called us to love people. and to love Him. that includes the introverted contemplative stoic. but people can be a lot of work.

it’s another balance, this dance of personality, ministry, and life.

there is a bit of relief in the label “introvert” and some push-back as well.

it feels selfish. sometimes lazy.

but I know the truth of it as well. when I am with people too long, even those I love deeply, there begins a deep longing for alone. time to process life. to write. maybe even read a bit. to catch my breath.

when those moments are missing, I get itchy, grumpy even. some days I feel like a rubber band, stretched to far, ready to snap.

so I’ll tell you up front–if I disappear for a while, it is nothing personal. I just need a moment of quiet. some time to talk to God, time to listen to Him, time to hear nothing.

please do not get me wrong. I like people. love a good number of them. family, friends, and ministry are true joys to me. most people do not even know this introversion runs so deeply.

sometimes it gets in the way. stresses me out. makes me question God and why He made me like this. but then He reminds me that He makes no mistakes, that there are reasons for it all. in all the Martha moments, He is calling me to Mary moments. sitting quietly together. and that is no mistake.

the journey continues, this living an introverted life in an extroverted world. and what a rich journey it is!

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Filed under being, complex

abiding…

Jesus calls us to abide in Him.

Easy and difficult.

Simple and complex.

Full of peace. Full of turmoil.

Much like the beautiful way He boiled the Law into two simple commands, to love God and love people, the Christian life is pared down to one amazing statement. Abide in Me.

The journey into that life of abiding is what this blog is all about. It is not a perfect journey. Sometimes it is full of wonder. Often full of questions.

Grace.

Mercy.

Love.

A focus on Him.

A desire to honor and glorify Him.

More of Him, less of me.

A jump into the ins and outs of one woman’s sanctification journey, with some of the oohs and aahs and bumps and bruises along the way.

Learning to abide. Learning to love. Wanting desperately to be like Christ. Knowing how far short of that goal I am. Resting in His grace in the gap.

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Filed under abiding, complex, John 15, simple, spiritual formation