lesson from a toddler…

as the mother of an almost-three-year-old, I love the dollar bins at Target. today’s treasure was a bug net, something I knew she would love. and she did, swooshing it here and there, catching something invisible. one would think invisible bugs, but no, not my girl. we stopped, somewhere in housewares and she handed me one of the invisibles. I asked what kind of bug she had found and given to my care. “Mommy, it’s not a bug. it’s a kiss. a happy kiss!”

and so we ventured through Target, catching kisses. some were happy kisses. some sad. genuine smiles from passersby and whispers of her sweet nature followed behind. the princess dress/rain boot combination did not hurt her little reputation either. she insisted we run after a few elusive kisses she’d seen, flitting through the outdoor seasonal section.

she has my imaginative streak, this daughter-gift from Heaven. I never know what she will come up with next or where the seeds for her wanderings come from. so we stopped and talked about the sad kisses. where do they come from? what does she do with them? what does she do with the happy kisses? it would never occur to her to keep them for herself.

the happy kisses are taken from one place and released somewhere needing a ray of sunshine or smile or bit of encouragement. but the sad ones? ah, here is the theology lesson from a child!

the sad ones she gives to Jesus. and He makes them all better. then He gives them back to her. they are His kisses to her and some she keeps to give away another day. the others are released like the happy kisses.

to have the faith of a child. it would truly be a gift!

(and I am half convinced she actually saw those kisses flying around her today…)

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alone…

the house is quiet.

he is running errands.

she is away, visiting her grandparents.

I am alone in the quiet.

it has been a long time since I had this respite.

and yet I miss them both.

it seems that deep longing for quiet, such a constant companion of my heart, crashes headlong into the desire to be near those closest to my heart. I long for God and time alone with Him. I long for my little family and the chaos of our lives.

how do they interact, these two desires? where is the balance? can the tension be resolved or is it life-long? maybe it is a healthy tension, not to be answered this side of heaven…

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the human doing…

there he was. just as advertised.

the human doing.

that is how he introduced himself to us as we stood around his plexi-glass apartment in the middle of the mall.

he is there as part of a health insurance company’s stunt, a life lived in front of others, encouraging us all to move, to be engaged with life. to be healthier. the crowd votes throughout the day on the activities and exercises he does.

the concept is interesting. but i could not get beyond the moniker. a human doing.

i spent the majority of life as a human doing. doing for God. running hither and yon, working hard at ministry. the idea of a human being seemed a dream. Martha was chided by Jesus and Mary applauded. one was a doing. the other a being. how my heart wanted to be a being, to give up the doing. to rest at Jesus’ feet. to soak in His presence.

to be a being instead of a doing meant learning to abide in Him, to set aside the doing. to be quiet. to train myself, and let Him train me, to externally and internally rest. to learn to listen for His still, small voice.

learning to abide has been a long, often painful process. it has been an amazing journey. and i have much more to learn, so much more to hear from Him

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